Assumptions

 

Everyone says that they are not judgemental and that they do not make assumptions. That’s just not true. Don’t get me wrong most of us do this in our heads and never use the judgment for any reason but we still do it. There are so many assumptions that are made either through stereotyping or just expectations. We perceive certain people to be a specific way or enjoy something specific and are shocked when that is not the case.

One example that I come across often in my role is people telling me that the person has Dementia, so they lack capacity. I have explained in a previous post why this statement is problematic in terms of the Mental Capacity Act, so I won’t explain it again. However, that is the same as saying that everyone who has epilepsy or diabetes is the same and that is ridiculous. Just as much as if someone said it about Dementia. First and foremost, there are over 400 types of Dementia that are caused by different things and have different side effects so making such a broad assumption is bonkers. Plus, it impacts everyone differently because I think what is forgotten when someone makes a comment like this is that people are individuals. Don’t get me wrong some types are more common than others and you do see more symptoms more often but not enough to make a blanket statement. Someone can have Dementia and still know what is going on. It is not as simple as you have this, therefore.

I see this happen for older people in general for many different things in life. The assumption is made that you stop all sexual activity at a certain age and then people become shocked when that is not the case. It’s the same as anything else in life one person may like it when someone else doesn’t. This could be said for certain hobbies that are general thought of as something a specific group in society should do. I hear this a lot because I enjoy knitting and reading and the number of times, I have been called an old lady for it is crazy.

I was doing some interesting training about people aging without children that demonstrated how often assumptions are made based on our own experiences. The expectation happens often that someone will have family who can support them when this is not always the case. Someone may have been married and is now widowed, never had children, is an only child and have lost their parents. That would leave them with no family, but we always assume that everyone has someone. It could even be as simple as for whatever reason they do not have contact with their family because it was not a positive experience for them. It happens often that we would expect families to pick up the slack but what do we do when there is nobody. How often do we ask the questions to find this out, don’t get me wrong we generally know if someone lives alone but we still assume there are people in their life who could help them? Some people genuinely do not have anyone, and we need to make sure that as Social Workers not only are we finding this out so we can choose the best course of action. Also, that allows us to build stronger relationships with the people we support and learn what matters to them. They may not feel that they need anybody to help and that may be the case but there could be other options where they do but there isn’t anyone to provide that so what help can we give them?

What assumptions have you made that turned out to be false?