Life and Death Planning

 I know I missed last month and that is because I had a loss in my family and did not have the brain power to write a blog at the time, when my head was already overwhelmed. Something had to fall by the wayside and the blog was it last month.

I have been supporting my mum through a lot of the aftermath, the processes that need to be followed and the aspects of it that are extremely tricky depending on what documentation exists out there.

I know that we advocate for advanced decision making, RESPECT forms and Not for resuscitation but something that I found had made this whole process more difficult is the lack of an up to date will. It causes unnecessary difficulties for those left behind who are trying to sort out funerals, property and other aspects of planning when additional meetings are required to sort out things that would have been much easier had they been done beforehand. I see a lot of people on our list who are on Goldline which is our local support for people deemed end of life. I had never had to use them until recently. It is a useful resource to have available. I am not sure if people are aware but when I called to ask a question about something they offered support for the family also and could signpost people to appropriate resources to manage grief or to learn what steps to take next.

I had my first ever meeting with a Social Worker that wasn't because of work. I sat on the family side of this meeting where we were told next steps by the Social Worker at the hospice and realised that a lot of people would not know what needed to happen and in a scenario where someone died at home for example they wouldn't have this resource to support them with what they needed to do. For us we knew what to do having gone through it a few years ago with someone else but if it is something you have never done before you would have no clue and there is a lot to do.

I imagine this would be extremely difficult for some of the people we support to achieve independently. Although we do have a team that supports with funerals and funeral planning where the person had no family, how would it work if the only family is the widow and they have their own health needs, care needs or difficulties. How would it look then? Who would support them in completing all the tasks that come with the loss of someone. I do not know if there are any services that support people with funeral planning or discussing what steps need to be taken next. I feel this is something that should exist either via a Social Worker (such as the hospice one we saw) or possibly through the voluntary sector. This very well may be something that exists but is not something I have personally come across. If you know of anything like this please let me know by commenting on the blog.

I feel like when looking into the options available out there a pre-planned and pre-paid for funeral service would be the thing that would best listen to the person's wishes and feelings similar to an advanced statement but also would mean that there would not be financial implications for those left behind or have very clear information written somewhere about what you want and if possible look at life insurance or similar to cover it. I know that this whole situation has encouraged me and I believe others to look at their own wills and make sure they exist and are up to date so that this situation would not occur again.