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Natalie
My name is Natalie, I started this blog as a Newly Qualified Social Worker working with adults. I have now progressed to a level 3 Social Worker and want to continue sharing my experiences.

Burnout


Well the I suppose you'd call it inevitable happened. I hit burnout. It's why there hasn't been a blog for a couple of months. I did not have the brain power to think about anything more than day to day survival and to be honest even that was a struggle.

When joining the profession, training, on placement and in pretty much every form of media related to Social Work you regularly hear the word burnout but it does not really describe how it actually feels so I am going to do just that.

Firstly let me start by talking about the lead up to the actual time off because this was not something that had happened overnight. It is something I believe was beyond the surface for months beforehand. I had people relying on me though so I just pushed it to the back, took on extra responsibilities to distract myself and probably made it all worse if I'm being honest.

I noticed months ago that I felt to be falling out of love with front line Social Work. I wasn't sure if I needed a holiday, a break or just a new case to help me fall back in love with it again. I know for me I need something in my diary every 6-8 weeks to look forward to or I start to struggle. By the time I went off work it had got to 9. Not much longer but I felt every day of it.

Once I had gone off I thought that I would be okay after a holiday. We were going away Monday to Friday and the student I was supporting finished whilst I was gone so I thought the combination would be just what I would need to feel refreshed. I came back feeling worse than when I went. I felt a tiredness that was beyond lack of sleep, it felt like it reached all the way to my bones. I described it to my family as feeling like my battery was empty and nothing I tried would charge it, even the things that would usually make me feel enthused, excited or just generally happy.

I felt that I could not think, function or do anything without it taking everything I had. I would wake up in a morning exhausted with minimal energy and the small amount I had would be used up before the day started as I would get my little one ready for nursery. I would spend the whole day resting which would give me back just enough to get through the evening then once they were in bed I would just rest again because my battery was drained.

It took my husband telling me to go get a shower or other things to look after myself for them to happen. I lost all motivation for even basic day to day tasks. It felt like depression mixed with the worse fatigue I have ever felt. I ended up off work for 4 weeks including the first week as holiday. When it came time to go back I was not sure how I felt about going back but my manager was amazing and supported with phased return so I just did half days for the first week to ease me back in. I had 2 full weeks in before I had annual leave and another holiday booked which helped me feel like there was a light at the end of the tunnel and made the whole thing feel less overwhelming. Since that I am back in my full hours but also only have another few weeks in until I have a week booked off. Being in currently for a few weeks at a time before a break feels to be really helping as only having a few weeks to go feels less overwhelming.

The thing that I have found hard is that I am the person who volunteers for things. I am the first person to raise my hand when they need someone to be involved in something. I am the one who gets involved in interviews for local higher education places, has students shadowing, supports new starters and a million other things. I have only just started to recognise that I over commit, both in my personal and professional life which means that the limited energy I have gets taken up very quickly. I am having to get more comfortable with saying no to people and protecting my own peace. I need to start recognising that I have a limited number of spoons to use throughout the day and if I regularly give too many away then I will inevitably end up with days where there are just none left because I already used them before that day even arrived.

Since I have gone back I have not volunteered for anything. I have not booked anything. I have not added extra to my list. I am taking time to ease back in and close off what I have had for a long time because that's another element to it is that when I have had the same people I am working with for a long period things can start to feel a bit in a rut. I have however started to enjoy Social Work again. I have been able to take that step back slightly where I am able to remember why I enjoy what I do. I have been able to finally complete tasks for people where they have had a positive outcome that they have been waiting a long time for and to be part of that feels amazing.


The most important question is how are you protecting yourself from burnout?

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